Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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