Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
