saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
