There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Randomize
