Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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