She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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