That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
