You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
