tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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