So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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