This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
