She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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