Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
