is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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