I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
