hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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