Having a random hookup so left but love u
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
