You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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