Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
