You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
