We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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