dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
