I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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