it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize