K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
