i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
