the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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