is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We got so high we made milksteak
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
