Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
