her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she pinky promised me she was 18
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Text me some of your sweat
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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