once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
