the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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