You're so nebulous sometimes
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
