Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
True college students do jello shots in the library
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