hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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