wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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