I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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