Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
