More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize