i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
