dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
