we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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