i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I deserve this hangover.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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