She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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