Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize