Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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