I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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