Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
