Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
3 2 1 whiskey
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize