i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
