My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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