Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
