So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
