$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
