whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
