Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Randomize
