the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize