Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
