So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
