I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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