You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
