do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
