I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
