so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
