there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
