I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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