I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We need to rekindle our bromance
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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