I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
this just has baby written all over it
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
