It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
