come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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