Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
