Do you still have your period?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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