You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
