Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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