Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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